On death and dying...

Today, I called the Vet in. I hated making the call, as making it was a confirming action that spelled acceptance of the inevitable; the inevitable being the approaching death of my Deer Hound, Ellie. Ellie had reached 11 years and 9 months of age - old for her breed - and was clearly uncomfortable with life. Ellie was already suffering from degenerative arthritis in both of her back legs and her lower back and she had suspected liver problems too. Her medication had helped to make things a lot easier but over the last couple of weeks her decline was noticeable and last night she became ill and had a look about her that said 'I'm just plain worn out'. Today, the Vet confirmed that Ellie had a very high temperature (42 and rising, instead of the normal 38) and that it was probable that this was linked to a growth in her liver. We had also noticed that she was dragging one of her rear paws which suggested that she was losing control of her legs and so, it was very clear, that for Ellie, the time had come to stop her suffering and say goodbye; such a painful thing to do. We could have opted for pain relief and infection control by way of steriods and antibiotics but this action would not have restored her leg functions and it would only serve our own selfish needs and not those of Ellie's. Ellie died in our garden on a sunny autumn day - a garden where she had spent many hours snoozing, usually with one eye open.

Inadequate and bald...

Yep, that's how I, as a blogger, have been described by the journalist and political commentator, Andrew Marr - Daily Mail, Tuesday October 12 2010 - Bloggers? They're inadequate and pimpled, says Andrew Marr. Well I suppose he is right about one thing; yes, I am bald but I am not inadequate or pimply, I'm not single, I'm not a young man, neither am I an angry ranting loony, nor am I sitting in my mother's basement - she doesn't have one anyway. Sure I've expressed anger in my blogs but not in the raving sense of the word. It's more like righteous anger expressed about those members of society who are the greedy hawks of this world and for some strange reason, think that they are wonderful and above the law. I have also looked at anger, as a phenomena that at times grips us all - and I mean all. It is my view that anyone who denies ever being angry is either in denial or is simply not aware of the corrupting power of internalised anger. Mr Marr's comments of course, were made during his lecture at this years Cheltenham Literature Festival where he was speaking about the decline of traditional journalism and his belief that 'Internet diarists and commentators will never offer a real replacement to newspapers and television news; 'most "citizen journalism" strikes me as nothing to do with journalism at all', the BBC political presenter said. Well, I've got news for Mr Marr. My blog, and I can only talk about my blog, has got nothing to do with journalism at all and it never was intended to be so. As it says on the main header, 'This blog is my garden shed, my thinking space. This where I can come and write down my thoughts, feelings, opinions and views on matters that might affect me. All here is valid. If you happen to read something here that you deem to be stupid, please remember that there is really no such thing as 'stupid', for even that description serves a worthy purpose by reinforcing and confirming that your own views are valid too.' Perhaps Mr Marr should read it some time and reflect. He may then stop knocking others just for the sake of pleasing his audience.

For further commentary about Mr Marr's remarks and his hypocrisy, take a look at the following link: http://www.libdemvoice.org/andrew-marr-a-little-bit-of-a-hypocrite-21556.html

Changeling...

Can it be, so soon after my previous blog, that I am suddenly faced with having to change my fancies and notions? I pride myself that in my mid 60's, I am still not set in my ways and that I can be open and responsive to new information and understandings; notice that I said, 'can be'. Even so, to have my running identity challenged so soon after confirming (mainly to myself) that I am a runner and not an athlete is rather alarming to say the least! Perhaps after some examination, I won't have to go as far as saying that following certain recent revelations, I must now accept that I am an athlete rather than seeing myself as 'just being a runner.' It might be easier though for me to broaden my self-view and accept that there is an athlete in me somewhere and that recently this athlete part of me, after some 20 years of just running, manifested itself quite strongly on both a cross-country course and running track somewhere in Portugal. What happened? Well, I guess that 'it' just didn't materialise on the XC course and track of its own accord. 'Its' materialisation was really just the end result of a process that had been going on for sometime - the process being subtle changes going on inside me vis a vis sorting my diet out, losing weight and coming out of a long period of injury recovery. This athlete in me then, manifested itself - I use the term 'itself', as it was nothing to do with me, at least not in a conscious way - through the phenomena of me actually changing up 2 gears and doing a sprint finish in a 6K handicap race (my coach said that he had 'never seen me sprint before') and in so doing becoming the first person to cross the finish line. I was aided mind you by the very close proximity of two much younger and faster runners than me; it's just that under the terms of the race, I started before them and I had just enough power left in me to make sure that it stayed that way - at least for the last 50 metres or so. This athlete part of me also manifested itself again (much to my consternation) while training on the local 400 metre track a few days later. The session consisted of a 10 minute threshold run, 6 x 200's at 5km pace and another 10 minute threshold run. I actually don't know what my 5k pace is, so I just ran a bit harder round the track and this led to Andi from Brighton, my running companion at the time, complaining that I looked as though I was not really putting much effort into the session. We decided - and I've heard this before - that my running style didn't really help matters, as it looks as though I'm just cruising along when in fact I am working quite hard. After some discussion, we agreed that this illusion was down to me not raising my arms high enough, so for the remaining 200's, I worked at using them properly. Of course, what happened? I ran faster and in a more upright position and suddenly the athlete in me was free and everyone on that track saw it happen. What happened? Well, I'm not sure really but I do remember running tall; shoulders back, head up, chin in, arms punching forward and suddenly, without warning, my leg speed/turnover - call it what you will - dramatically changed and there I was running sub 6 minute miles. Okay maybe only for a 100 metres or so but sub 6 never the less... and it was nothing to do with me! What's worse, is the fact that I actually enjoyed and got something from this track session. So much so, that I mean to seek out a running track local to my home so that I can do some more of these quality sessions... for that is what they are.

Thanks a bunch Andi.