Is your life full of 'starting agains'? Mine is. I am currently starting to run again; not for the first time I might add. This starting again game appears in other areas of my life too; relationships and marriage for instance. My employment history has quite a few starting agains documented in it and my childhood and teenage years are not without their starting agains either. In fact, the start of my life started with that starting again scenario, adoption. Only just thought about that, hmm, I wonder if it is the root cause of my many other starting agains*. My guess is that any child that has experienced endings and beginnings (starting agains) in their early childhood will have a memory of that Primal Wound, which may then morph into a hidden life pattern that is repeated again and again until something outside of themselves, like running, opens the door to enlightenment and understanding. Paul Vorwerk, in his book Mystical Miles says that, 'running enables an uncovering of self, a discovery and exploration. Different types of running reveal different facets of the self - running in rain, heat, all night, hard or easy, fast or slow; many long solitary miles; others in the company of friends. Running helped me to find out what I could do, what I had in me'.
From the moment I took up running, some 20 years ago now, I too have been on a journey of self discovery and in so doing I have been made to acknowledge my physical and mental demons - a measure of laziness, poor self discipline, low pain threshold, poor diet control, poor body mechanics, low self esteem; all have been my life companions but through the act of running they have been put into their proper place; a place where their influence is at least minimized, if not all together extinguished. Because of running, I have also learnt the art of endurance and as I pushed the envelope so to speak, I found that I could increase my staying power and miles until one day I found myself running ultra races such as the 54 mile Thames Meander and the Mongolia Sunrise to Sunset 100K footrace without complaint. So, through running, I too discovered ‘what I could do, what I had in me’. Christine McDougall, on her Positive-Deviant.com website says, 'I suppose that we all must learn endurance at some stage in our life as humans. We will have to endure pain, suffering, waiting, seeking, wanting, not having... until we learn the ultimate lesson which is to let go'. Running then is so much more than, just running; it is a journey of discovery and healing, a way of getting in touch with our inner selves and putting things to right. Paul Vorwerk in looking at the connection between running and healing says in his book that, ‘the need for a deeper healing goes beyond symptoms of hurt and disease. It must deal with the essence of who we are. The healing must build resilience, adaptability, the ability to survive, to grow, to prosper. At one level, healing is about the wounds and injuries, which require a nurturing environment in which to repair. At another level, healing is about the soul, about the will to live, the reason we have to go on, to get better and to develop'. So, there we have it then. Who needs pills and potions when running can bring you freedom from pain and suffering, and at the same time reveal the essence of your very being.
* Starting agains: Joe Sol, in his book Adoption Healing, says that ‘adoptees may face many problems, particularly in developing relationships and in choosing a career. They have a hard time choosing an educational focus and committing to career plans, because they often are not in touch with their wants and desires’. From my own experience, this lack of focus, this difficulty with commitment impacts deeply on all areas of your life; to the point of turning you into one of life’s lost souls. In this place, you don’t know what path you are on let alone what path it is you are supposed to be seeking. It’s only when something, usually life changing, happens to you that you can finally get in touch with your wants and desires and perhaps then and only then will the continual cycle of stopping and starting again finally cease. Note: Wants and desires, in this context, should not be confused with the wants and desires associated with owning the objects found in the shop windows of this world.
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