The toilet as a significant other...

Hmm, I settled on this subject, as I have nothing better to do at the moment. As a runner (forget that I'm presently not running), toilets have significance for me. Their role in easing the bodily concerns of a runner are paramount and correlate directly with pace, speed and fluidity of one's running style. If you have ever had that buttock clenching experience, colloquially known as the 'turtles head', then you know what I mean! You can see the evidence of the humble toilets importance at most race events; long queues of runners forming in front of the massed ranks of porta loos, all waiting anxiously 'to go' and repeatedly checking watches against the official clock, wondering if they will make it to the start line in time. Desperate late comers to the queues are faced with a lonely walk back across what will become an empty start area - their PB hopes left behind in the toilet. A further manifestation of toilet importance can be evidenced by the many pre race discussions that take place between runners, usually about the number of toilets available, ease of access and the hope that some might be found along the race route itself. Similar discussions take place at post race debriefs too. Here direct comparisons are made about the number and quality of the toilets available at a particular race as opposed to another. This is not just about UK races but also races elsewhere in the world - the Berlin Marathon compared to the London Marathon for instance. The importance of toilets is not lost on mountain marathon and trail running events either; long gone are the communal mid-way camp bogs of old (a hole or trench in the ground) and even the smaller trail races provide runners with a porta loo or two these days. Toilet etiquette is something all runners should know about and practice too. Some races, like the Burnham Beeches 1/2 Marathon, have rules about where you can and cannot pee. Get caught peeing in the woods here and you could be be disqualified! Books have been written about toilet etiquette. One book with over 300,000 copies in print to date, tackles the whole subject of the environmental impact of poor pee hygiene and how by just following a few rules, you can reduce and even stop further damage from occurring. So next time you plunge into a bush, just remember... 'When nature calls, observant caution is always the recommended approach in picking out a place to relieve oneself.''